YES! I Did NOT Do It!!

 

 I drove down to the trail and did my first solo walk today.  Was aiming for 1.5 miles and just hoped I could do it without much discomfort.  I had IT band issues for the first 10 minutes but those settled down and everything went smoothly from there. 

When I reached ¾ mile, I felt really good and decided to keep walking to the 1 mile mark before turning around.   I kept waiting for those first real twinges of regret to hit, letting me know that I was overdoing it.  Never happened.  Felt great the whole time.  In fact, because I am currently so out of shape, that walking was enough to give me an endorphin high.  Felt every bit as good as the times I got them from running.  I loved it!

What turned out to be the most difficult part of the walk? Convincing myself NOT to break into a slow run.*   It was like I had a little devil on one shoulder telling me “Do it! You know it will make you feel good! Just run to that first telephone pole”  and a bigger angel on the other shoulder saying “Don’t be a stupid bitch! You don’t want to risk injury!”  THIS TIME, the angel won out.  My 6 week post-op appointment is in 4 days.  The doctor will let me know then if it is ok for me to start running or if it would be better for me to hold off for a few more weeks.  I WILL listen to him. 

Once I am allowed to run, I will restart the Couch to 5K program. (C25K) I did this 2 years ago.  I had really positive results. I lost 40 pounds. I had so much more energy and self-confidence.  It was wonderful!  Then I ended up having my first surgery due to the ovarian cysts (when they found out about the endo). But even after that, I was able to continue with the running, even if it did slow me down a bit. Then a few months later I injured my foot due to improperly training for my first half marathon AND I used shoes that were “too new”.  I ended up with a stress fracture. Between that and deciding to go to school full time, my running stopped and the weight slowly crept back on.  As of now, I have gained back 35 of the 40 pounds I’d lost. Bringing me back up to 236pounds.  (Yep, made me more than a bit nauseous typing that out for God and everybody to read. Because you know, God had no clue what my weight was before that)  

So, does this mean the primary reason I want to start running again is to lose weight?  Surprisingly, no it’s not. I want to run again because I LOVE it. I love how it makes me feel. I love the sense of accomplishment when each new goal is met. I love the races my husband and I run together. I love that I discovered that my third child is an excellent running partner, whether on paved or dirt trails. She is FEARLESS!  I ESPECIALLY love the friends I have made because of running.  

The weight loss just happens to be a wonderful side effect. 

IF I get the all clear from the doc on Thursday, then I will start Day 1 Week 1 of C25K on Friday morning.  This will consist of a 5 minute brisk walk for warming up, then stretching.  Then alternating 60 seconds of slow running* and 90 seconds of walking, for a total of 20 minutes. Then a 5 minute cool down and stretching.  The husband is convinced that it will be much easier for me this time than it was the first time I did this.  I was SO SORE after each run.  But I am not nearly as sure as he is. I am guessing the whole surgery thing will play a significant role in how I preform.  Regardless, I am anxious to get started.

* “slow running”…this would be called “jogging” for most of you. But I am not ALLOWED to use the word jog or I will get my ass kicked by more than one of my marathon running friends.  And since I admire them a great deal and due to the fact that they could EASILY catch me if I took off “running”, I will defer to them.
You will also catch me using the phrase “waddle.”  This is not me being self-effacing. I use it because one of my running icons, John, the Penguin, Bingham, uses this. And he also assures me that I am a real runner.  I choose to believe him.   

Week 5…The Doctor Did Not Warn Me About THIS

This past week has been one of the worst since the surgery.  The stent removal itself wasn’t bad. Or maybe it was, but I don’t remember because I was knocked out cold. But the after effects and the trauma to the ureter were pretty rough.  Between the discomfort, pain and at times, downright depression, I’ve not felt like writing anything. I started 3 separate posts but could only complete 1.  No motivation and total lack of concentration. Multiple posts on how much things sucked did not appeal to me.  So, I give you a basic rundown of how last week progressed.  

Monday:  Drive to surgery center at 5:30am. Prep at 6:00. Procedure at 7:00. Did not like the “gas mask.” Felt like there was not nearly enough oxygen flowing. Felt like I’d suffocate. But I was out by the third deep inhalation. I was awake and chatting up the nurses before 7:45.  I do not remember a whole lot about that. I do remember they were shocked at how fast I came out of it.  I remember the surgical nurse has a wife who is a social worker at the VA. NO CLUE how we got on that topic. I’m sure I initiated it, though.  I remember another nurse asking me about pain and I guess I said I was hurting because she gave me two Percocet.   I remember being hungry. I remember the nurse saying it would be best to stick to clear liquids for a few hours. I remember ignoring that advice. And I distinctly remember REGETING that I ignored it.  Honestly, not a whole lot more I even remember from the rest of that day.

Tuesday:  I spent the day in a fair amount of discomfort.  The trauma from having the stent REMOVED was far more intense than I anticipated. I was popping the pills every 4 hours trying to stay ahead of the pain.  Made it tolerable but did not erase the pain. It did allowed us to get out of the house for a short time and go check out Hometown Comic’s (our local comic book shop) new location, buy a new card game (Snake Oil) and then go grab a bite at Applebees.  I was moving very slowly and gingerly the whole time we were out. And by the time we got back home, I was ready for a nap.

Wednesday:  Exhausted. Extremely high anxiety day. Cried on and off. Took anti-anxiety meds...which I rarely do. Slept a LOT throughout the day after that.  Pain was minimal, which was good. Managed a blog post. But that was it.

Thursday:  Felt GREAT. Walked a mile and half in under 27 minutes.  No pain, no discomfort.  Excited because things were improving.  We drove up to get The Boy from school. Sure, he’s only been gone a week, but it was really nice to see him for a bit.

Friday: I twisted the wrong way, aggravated the still healing ureter and spent the rest of the day in as much pain as I had been in on Tuesday.  We had to drive down to Cincinnati and by the time we came home, I was in more pain than I’d been in since right after the surgery.   Again, I was taking a half to a full pain pill every 4 hours.  By 1:00am I was online looking up info to see if this was normal or if I should be calling my doctor’s answering service to see if I should head to the ER.  My urologist said NOTHING about having serious pain after the procedure. Just some “discomfort.”  Sure enough, a lot of people have gone through the same thing.  Found out I should have been taking NSAIDs…NOT Rx pain relievers.   Popped a couple of Ibuprofen and I was feeling SO much better within the hour.  (BTW, this was NOT caused by the walking from the previous day)

Saturday:  basically involved me taking Ibuprofen and resting and doing a bit of crying.

Sunday: Much better.  Spent time folding clothes and doing light housework. And doing a bit of pouting because the husband has been cleared for travel after spending nearly 3 months at home.  It’s been nice to have him around every day, but it’s also nice to know that his company is anxious to have him back on site. As much as we hate the travel, we do not take for granted how blessed we are that he has a good job.

Which brings us to this morning:  Feeling SO much better. Dishes done, laundry started. Feeling positive again.  Waiting for the daughter to come home and take me to the trail for another walk.  But, the house feels too quiet. I cherish the quiet. I really do. But I think it will take me a while to get used to it again.  

Post Op: Three weeks down and some irritations.

For the most part, I am healing much faster than anticipated. I feel I have been very lucky.  But there have been a few issues I could certainly do without.

My stent is still bothersome.  Much of the time I feel I have a mild urinary tract infection and lower back ache.  My husband said he went through the same thing when he had his stent in last spring. (It’s nice to have those special moments of bonding, right?)  I have an appointment with the urologist tomorrow. It will be an office visit to discuss the stent removal procedure and make the appointment for that visit.  The removal will involve going back to the surgical center and being put under general anesthesia.  They will take out the offending medical device and inject some sort of contrast to make sure the sutures are healed and there is no leakage from the ureter into my abdominal cavity.  If it is not healed properly, another stent gets put in.  I do not know if it will involve any sort of laparoscopic incisions to re-suture or not. Will find out for sure on Wednesday.  Understandably, I am a little bit nervous.  I will be so glad when this is done.

Incision site is feeling odd.  Finally took the steri-strips off.  Noticed the site was weeping a bit. And I have a “pulling” sensation at the area since taking the strips off. I called the nurse and she said as long as the weeping does not have blood or pus, is not excessive, and the site is not hot to the touch then all is normal.  There is a bit of stinging at the site. But that is about it. 

Another issue I’ve dealt with is a yeast infection.  On the last evening of taking my antibiotics I developed one, despite the fact that I was eating yogurt on a daily basis to avoid it. (This pissed me off a great deal. It looked like I was going to get through a large course of antibiotics and NOT get a YI) The symptoms seemingly went away for a couple days, then came back.  This happened two more times and each time the discomfort would start at night, while the doctor’s office was closed, then not be present in the morning. When I called the nurse regarding my incision I thought maybe I should ask about the yeast issue.  She sent an Rx to my CVS, a lovely single dose tablet. Fluconazole 150mg.  No messy creams or suppositories. Everything cleared up VERY quickly.

Last night I dealt with some night sweats.  Primarily involving my lower body. A bit clammy up top, but sweat was running down my legs.  Yes, for a split second I was worried I’d had some sort of accident.  Not the case. Just sweating like crazy.   I have had previous night sweats since the surgery, but this was the worst.  Woke up 3 times from it.  Still, I cannot complain too much. The bHRT pellets really seem to be working.  Few night sweats, no real hot flashes to speak of and my emotions have been pretty leveled out.  Crying a bit more the last few days, but nothing more than what I had been doing BEFORE surgery.  And no RAGE issues! I think the kids are feeling they can slowly come out of hiding now. 

Walking is not coming along as quickly as I’d like. Spent the first 12 days only walking around the house.  Then on July 29^th  I finally went to the trail and waddled  ½ mile in 23:41 minutes. It was so slow, but movement was really good. On August 3^rd I walked 1.08 miles in 20:04. I was amazed at how “fast” I was going. My body did not protest. Legs and abdominal area felt fine.  Then I tried walking again yesterday, Aug 5^th, hoping for another mile. I was only able to go for .55 and that took me 16:34.  It was rough. Incredibly tired, stinging around the incision. I was glad to get back to the car. Really disappointed with how much it took out of me.  No walking today. In fact, I took two long naps and have barely left the bed. 

I realize that I should not beat myself up. Recovery is not a linear process.  I will have good days and bad days.  Good hours and bad hours.  I cannot be impatient with the healing.  I cannot risk setting myself back by pushing myself too hard.  I am NOT a failure because I can’t walk 3 miles 3 weeks after surgery. Full recovery will happen in time.