Saturday, August 31, 2013

On Weight Loss

It’s no secret.  I am overweight. I need to lose some serious poundage.  I am 5’8” and 236 pounds.  That means that I am not just “overweight” but I fall into the obese category.  I’d like to see a 60-70 pound drop. That would not make me “skinny” by any means, but I would be at a HEALTHY weight.  And with my height and my propensity to be more muscular when I work out, I think that would be a weight range where I would feel wonderful and look good, dare I say, sexy even. But above all I would BE HEALTHIER.

2 years ago I lost 40 pounds and had started feeling great.  Then through a series of unfortunate events (is that phrase under copyright now?) and a serious onset of stress, leading to depression…I allowed food to be my medication and my friend and I gained back 35 pounds.  And of course as each pound crept back on, the depression and self-loathing got worse. 
Not my lowest in recent years, but was finally starting to feel good in my own skin. That's me in the pink.

So, here I am, a year after the weight started coming back.  It came on slowly at first, then in a matter of about 3 months, January thru March, 25 pounds piled on.  I’ve been sitting on this 236 since early spring.   
With my boy a few weeks ago before he left for school. 236 pounds.

Now, I am ready to work at it again.  My surgery is done. The bulk of my recovery is finished.  I’ve been cleared to run.  It’s time to focus on this. It’s time to feel good.

I am finding inspiration from people all around me. Friends who have recently started or finished Couch to 5K and are excited about their improved levels of fitness. Friends who are training for marathons and triathlons.  Friends who have dealt with wonky thyroids, finding the right levels of medications and pushing through setbacks to come out on top 80 pounds lighter and a hell of a lot healthier.  Friends who have my back and who are cheering me on.

I’m also finding inspiration online.  I’ve been very inspired by The Riding Librarian's blog.  And through her I found another blog.  Can You Stay for Dinner?  The author is a 28 year old woman (I had to fight not to write “young woman”.  You know your middle aged when…) who has lost over 100 pounds. She LOVES food.  Her blog discusses ways of eating healthy while eating well.  Beautiful pictures of yummy foods AND she adds the recipes.  Currently, I am following her entries about helping her mom lose weight.  Putting My Mom on a Diet has weekly updates with pictures and recipes for almost every meal she and her mom have prepared. Did I mention the pictures were great?  They could have come out of any foodie mag.  Her mom is in her 10th week of following The Plan and she has lost 23 pounds so far and looks fabulous.  (The woman is 57 years old and MAYBE looks 45)  I am finding this incredibly inspirational. 

My current plan is to spend today dissecting a couple weeks’ worth of her recipes, and then hit the store bright and early tomorrow morning for the needed food.  Her recipes are simple.  Each meal consisting of things the average person would have in their fridge or could easily pick up at the local grocery store.   Of course THAT will be the easy part.  The hard part will be actually MAKING the meals during the week.  Breakfast and lunches will not be difficult, but dinner…dinner will be the challenge.  IF I can manage the dinners, then I feel very confident I will see results.  Dinner is where I fall apart. This is where I am more likely to eat crappy food and say “screw healthy.”  IF I can find my groove, get in the habit I know I will rock it!

Although the primary purpose of my blog is not about weight loss, weight is a HUGE factor in my life.  It affects how I move, how I feel, what I do.  236 pounds is enough weight to hold me back from things I WANT to do.  Do you know the maximum weight for most horseback riding stables?  200-210 pounds.   This amount of weight makes long distance car rides and flying more uncomfortable. It makes sitting in the high school auditorium seats VERY uncomfortable.  And of course there is the emotional discomfort of not feeling good in my own body.  Which was something I had FINALLY started feeling 2 years ago when I lost those 40 pounds. So this means that I will be posting about this on a semi-regular basis.  Updates on my successes and failures, joys and frustrations.  I know there will be a lot of each. Just hoping for more of the successes and joys.

Wish me luck!