Hormones…they certainly are interesting. I have felt on a more even keel hormonally since the surgery. I have not had any rage issues. I have only cried about 3 times (that is 3 times within the week…not in a single day.) and I haven’t felt terribly depressed. In fact, for the most part, I have felt pretty damn good. Upbeat. Hopeful. Excited to get back to life. My guess is that the low levels of hormone pellets have prevented me from going into “insta-pause.” This is great news for me and especially for my family. Considering, pre-surgery they never knew if they needed to hand me a tissue or run for cover.
Although, I have been noticing SOME side effects that I can only attribute to the testosterone. The first and most embarrassing is the increase in facial hair. I have already had issues with this for years. Waxing and plucking are just part of the deal for me. Trust me, if I had a couple extra grand to throw at laser hair removal, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But I don’t. So every couple of days I grab the mirror and remove the stray few hairs that seem to magically appear. Thankfully, my poor husband is nearly blind, because he insists that it is not noticeable. (he’s such a good guy.)
HOWEVER, since I have come back from the hospital I have not had a chance to stay on top of it. I’ve either been too drugged to see straight or too sore to lean over the sink. Last night I finally got my hands on a mirror and tweezers. GOOD GOD!! I had more “stubble” on my face than my 20 year old son does! Of course this is no great accomplishment. He is not a terribly hirsute young man. Still, the description is accurate and it holds. After spending 30 minutes working at the forest on my face, I resigned myself to the fact that this will be a daily task for me from now on. God help the child that steals my good tweezers. There will be hell to pay!
Something else I have noticed in the past couple of days is that I have not been napping. Add to that, last night I was WIDE AWAKE until after 2:00am. That was WIDE AWAKE after a full day of NOT napping. After 3 loads of laundry, 2 empty cycles of the dishwasher, cleaning the counters, folding clothes, sweeping the bathroom and bedroom (BROOM. Not allowed to use the vacuum for 5 more weeks!) and some other small tasks. In my current condition that should have knocked me on my ass. I should have been snoring before my head hit the pillow. But no, I was wide awake. Not my typical bout of insomnia where I am exhausted, but my mind is too busy to allow sleep. I was alert and clear headed. Maybe this could be good for me once I get back to school.
One other thing I became aware of this morning, the thing that really tipped me off that it just might be the testosterone pellet…I smell like a man. After I woke up, I went into the bathroom and brushed my hair. In the process of lifting my arm I was stunned. What the HELL was that smell??? I JUST took a shower yesterday afternoon! That is NOT how I smell when I sweat! THAT is how my HUSBAND smells! SERIOUSLY???!!
So...I am trying to put this in perspective and stay positive. Maybe, just maybe, my sex drive will also be on par with that of my male counterpart. This could be a great thing for midlife marriage! Especially if his eyesight remains bad and I invest in some Rx strength deodorant.
It’s all about the silver lining.